Kyle Becomes a Brony
by Sparkers16
Summary: The title explains it all...will Kyle's friends accept this? Probably not.


It was a Saturday morning. The sun shone in the small mountain town of South Park, Colorado, glinting off of the pure white snow. The sky was clear, the weather was warm, this was a perfect day to...lie on the couch and watch Terrence and Phillip all day.

Kyle Broflovski yawned as he moseyed into the living room in his pajamas, bowl of cereal in hand. The nine-year-old kid was about to plop down on the couch when he realized his little brother, Ike, was already there, no doubt watching some lame children's show. "Goddamnit, Ike, you always get the TV on Saturdays. Can't I watch my show this one time?"

Ike responded with a babble, sounding somewhat like, "Screw you."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Don't make me play 'Kick the Baby' again!" Ike started to scream in protest.

"Okay, okay, don't wake Mom and Dad up! Whatcha watching, anyway?"

Ike pointed at the TV with one stubby finger. "My Little Pony!" There, on the screen, were a bunch of bright, Technicolor...horses. "Jesus Christ, what have children's shows come to?" Kyle muttered to himself. "Might as well see how bad it is." Kyle sat down next to Ike.

The horses, or ponies, seemed to be in some sort of tribal hut. There were six ponies, and they seemed to be in some sort of hot tub.

A purple pony was saying to a little dragon, "Dear Princess Celestia, my friends and I all learned an important lesson this week: Never judge a book by its cover. Someone may look unusual, or funny, or scary. But you have to look past that and learn who they are inside. Real friends don't care what your 'cover' is; it's the 'contents' of a pony that count. And a good friend, like a good book, is something that will last forever."

"Cartman needs to learn that lesson, fucking fatass," Kyle snorted, pretending not to be interested as the show went through a couple jokes Kyle didn't get and plunged into the ending credits. But he couldn't deny that was a good lesson, something that would be great for his little brother to absorb. And those ponies were pretty fucking cute, especially that purple one.

"Hey, Ike, what was this show called again? My Little Pony?"

"Friendship is Magic!" His brother babbled excitedly. Surprisingly, Kyle wasn't disgusted by this name.

"Hold on. I need to go look this show up on my computer." Kyle ran back up the stairs to his room.

* * *

"Kahl! Kahl, answer your window you ginger fucking Jew!" Eric Cartman whined , rapping on Kyle's window as Stan Marsh and Kenny McCormick struggled to keep the fat kid hoisted up on a rope.

The curtain on the window opened a crack, showing Kyle still in his pajamas, without his hat, looking pissed off. "What the hell, Cartman? We have a door for a reason!"

"Yeah, and you didn't answer it, dumbass!"

"Oh," Kyle looked down. "My bad." He had been watching a marathon of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic all day with the volume blasting on full power. He probably didn't hear Cartman ringing the doorbell.

"Whatever. Dude, Craig just invited us to go teepee Ms. Garrison's house with him. It's gonna be fucking awesome. You in?"

"No!" Kyle shouted. "Why the hell would I do that?!"

"Told you he'd be chicken," Cartman yelled down to Stan and Kenny. "Just like a Jew."

"C'mon, Kyle, it'll be fun!" Stan said.

"Mmeah!" Kenny agreed, his voice muffled by the orange parka he always wore.

"What better things do you have to do, anyway?"

Kyle glanced back at his computer, which was currently paused on Season Two, Episode Two. He was just getting to the juicy part, where Twilight was turned gray by Discord. He couldn't stop watching now! "It's...none of your business," Kyle said, turning away from the window.

"Uh, yeah, it is," Cartman said, opening the window despite Kyle's protests. "What's on your computer, Kahl? You watching porn, Kahl? You into that stuff, Kahl?"

"Shut the fuck up, Cartman," Kyle growled, trying to slam the window shut, but Cartman's pudgy hand got in the way.

"Let's see what's on that computer, shall we?" Cartman grinned maliciously, shoving the window back open and clambering inside Kyle's room.

"No!" Kyle pleaded as the fat kid pushed him aside and saw the computer.

"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? What homo crap is this?" He pushed play on the episode, and Kyle winced. It was just at the part where Princess Celestia sent Spike back all the letters Twilight wrote.

"Real friends don't care what your cover is...Friendship is a wondrous and powerful thing...And like the path cut through the orchard, there will always be a way through...The best thing to do is stay true to yourself...Everypony has a special magical connection with her friends, maybe even before she's met them," Twilight read. Kyle couldn't help smiling as her coat turned to it's normal, bright purple color.

Cartman paused the video. "I think I've seen enough," he chuckled. "Kahl, I have a diagnosis for your problem. These are Technicolor ponies. Which are gay as heck. You are watching them. Which means you are a total fag."

"Love and tolerate," Kyle whispered to himself as his hands curled into fists.

"Love and tolerate? That just proves it!" Cartman leaned out the window. "Stan! Kinneh! KYLE IS A HOMOSEXUAL!" he screamed the last part, making sure everyone in town could hear.

"I swear, if you call me gay one more time..."

"KYLE BROFLOVSKI IS A GAY, HOMO, FAGGY, FUDGE-PACKING HOMOSEXUAL!"

"Get out of my room, Cartman," Kyle said, sounding oddly calm.

"What, dude? Aren't you gonna scream at me? Or punch me? You're not gonna deny that you're gay, are you!"

"I said, get out of my room, Cartman."

Cartman frowned. He was expecting a huge reaction from Kyle. The Jew had a huge temper; why was he acting so calm? It kind of scared him. "Okay dude, but on Monday, everyone's gonna know that you're totally gay."

Kyle said nothing. He just stared at Cartman, a dangerous glint in his eyes. Almost downright terrified, Cartman re-attached the rope to his waist and lowered himself out of the window. Kyle slowly shut the window and the curtain. When he was sure that no one was watching, the fourth-grader grinned ear to ear. He had actually gotten Cartman to leave him alone! It turned out that getting angry and violent wasn't the way to deal with people like Eric Cartman. Then, Kyle felt an odd urge...the urge to write a letter to Princess Celestia. It was dumb, he knew, but it sort of seemed like a way to prove his devotion to the show. Kyle sat down at his desk and took out a piece of paper and a pen.

_Dear Princess Celestia,_

_Today I learned that there will always be people in the world who will annoy you to no end, but you should never lose your temper. The best way to deal with those types of people is to stand up for yourself, but stay calm while doing it. This is much more effective than resorting to swearing and violence. _

_Your faithful subject, Kyle Broflovski_

_(P.S: The person who made me learn this lesson is Eric Cartman. For lack of better terms, he is a mean, dumb, racist fatass and I hate his guts. I can only hope that I'll be able to keep standing up to him peacefully from now on.) _

Satisfied with his letter, Kyle went downstairs and found a lighter. He burned the letter, to imitate Spike sending letters with his dragon-fire. And Kyle could've sworn the ashes floated out his window, sparkling in the sunshine.


End file.
